“I’ve been there. I’m a mom. It gets better. You’re not alone.”
I think that may be the greatest things we as mothers can say to our fellow moms out there. I know there have been so many times where I have been overwhelmed, embarrassed, exhausted, drained, angry, heartbroken, stressed, etc. Even in the times where I feel like I am all alone, the times where I feel like there is no way anyone could possibly understand how I feel or what I am dealing with, I am not alone. I may feel alone and in actuality, I may have to face the particular issue alone physically, but I am not unheard of; it won’t last forever.
I was in Target last week with two grumpy kids, the youngest in meltdown mode. She refused to sit in the shopping cart, but she had to in order for us to finish up. She was screaming on the aisle where the wipes are, and a woman glanced over at us, smiled, and said “I’ve been there before.” I thanked her for saying that and she replied with, “we’ve all been there at one point. If a crying child bothers you, then you’ve honestly never been a mom.” Her words flooded over me and even though I made my way up to the front to check out quickly with my screaming toddler garnering many more looks from other customers, I was no longer embarrassed or afraid. Thank you fellow Target mom!
There may not ever be the perfect words to heal some of our fellow moms in situations they experience. We will never fully experience every good and/or bad thing this world has to offer. As much as we would like to, we will never be able to do everything we would like to heal certain pains for our fellow moms. In moments like that where we feel so far away, where we wish we knew what to say and do, we should just looked at our simplest bond: motherhood.
“And while I have not experienced the pain that comes along with losing a child, I do understand the joy that she once experienced from holding her child. And to lose that? There are no words. Except maybe “I’m a mom, I know.” (This come from a beautiful blog post I read online. Her words are perfect: http://www.popsugar.com/moms/Motherhood-Strongest-Bond-36728831)
I have not experienced pain the way that some moms have had. I have never lost a child in any way, I have never heard the doctor say that my child has an incurable disease, I have never seen my child go hungry, never seen my child abused or broken, never been without a home to bring my child back to, etc. Honestly, I hope and pray that I never experience such things. I wish no one ever had to. I may not have been there before. I’m a mom though. I know it will get better. Eventually. It may not ever be 100% healed, in fact, it won’t ever be. But it will get better. You are never alone.
We may be different on 99/100 things, but we are moms. It unites us. Those of us with physical, present children as well as those who have suffered the unimaginable loss(es); we are all moms. It crosses social statuses, religions, etc. That overwhelming, “heart-stopping love that we feel for our children runs deep through each and every one of us as moms.” (http://www.popsugar.com/moms/Motherhood-Strongest-Bond-36728831)
It is painful at times. I was never a big crier growing up. That all changed the moment I held my son. I cry at commercials, tv shows and movies, and news stories. The thought of my children going to kindergarten, driving, going off to college makes me weepy. It’s why our hearts ache when we hear about miscarriage or fertility problems. It’s why we are up at night watching our kids sleep. It’s why the death of another mother’s child is so entirely heartbreaking. It is also why we should offer a blanket of support to our fellow moms. All of them. Not only to those who are suffering through the unimaginable pain of losing a child, but also to those mamas going through plain ol’ rough times, and even those moms who are just having one of those days. Meet her gaze, pat her on the shoulder, hug her; say, “I know, I’m a mom.”
I’m a mom.