Why is this such a taboo subject?
I suppose I understand the reason, only because for so long I truly believed that only one best friend was allowed! There can be only one! (Isn’t that what that old movie tagline was about? No? Ok…)
We have lived in this part of Georgia for almost eleven years now, and now that I am an adult, I view life very differently than I did as a child. (Don’t we all! Or should I say, shouldn’t we all!) I will never have what some people have, the best friend from day one of elementary (or whatever) school. That use to bug me sometimes, but I am perfectly alright with that now. I am truly able to value the childhood that I had.
Call it a trait of a military child: we moved every 3-5 years and by the time I actually got settled somewhere, it was time to pack up and move again, usually across the country. Of course, this was before the age of social media, so I think that maybe kid have it a little easier now in ways of keeping in touch. Anyway…as a small child I thought that you could only have one best friend. I remember in 1st grade a little girl telling me those words every child at one point has used as a threat: “I won’t be your friend anymore!” (I still remember the little jerk’s name, lol.) It is almost humorous the way that friendship, or at least what we perceive as a friendship, evolves as we grow up.
I went from thinking you could only have one close friend, to just wanting peace. As I got older, I wanted everyone to get along and be able to spend time together peacefully, to really enjoy each other. However, that was always too much to ask.
I see now that a best friend is someone you can tell anything to and who is there for you no matter what. They are someone who brings out the best in you, but still accepts you at your worst. They are not perfect, no one is, but they are comfortable.
We have been taught from an early age that we are only supposed to have one, so called ‘best’ friend, and that having multiple best friends is out of the ordinary or just plain wrong. Now I see that a “separate but equal” mentality can really work. I have a few different best friends; all of whom serve different roles in my life. Each friendship has a different dynamic, a different way of working for each person, all of which allow different sides of each person to shine through. I know it might not make sense logistically to call multiple people the ‘best’ at something, but I know it is possible.
For me, I have three. Years worth of laughter, tears, stories, adventures, and memories.
We all have our similarities and our differences. We are all in different chapters of our own lives, yet sometimes, more often than not, our story-lines overlap. We have shared many important days, events, and traded quite a few embarrassing stories. The value we place in one another is tremendous. Their respective personality types somehow mesh well with mine in one way or another, most of the time. (We have all had our own spats and times of trials.) Each best friend is like a puzzle piece to my soul; that missing one would alter the path that I am on.
You have someone to fulfill different needs, and someone who is there for you in a given situation where another friend might not be. (I’m not saying here that best friends shouldn’t always be there for you, however, some friends are more suited for certain things than others are.)
If the best can be said for more than one person, consider yourself blessed.