My precious Liam and Holdyn,
I love you more than I will ever be able to communicate and more than you will ever know.
That being said, that love is going to come across as anything but sometimes. Especially when you’re older and we begin to butt heads over issues, clothes, etc.
First of all, I made you. You were smaller than a grain of sand and I, your daddy, and the good Lord struggled and tearfully made you for ten months. I hurt, I cried, I grew, I went on bedrest, I underwent surgery while pregnant and twice more to get you both out. It was the hardest times of my life.
In saying that, it was so worth it. I would do it ten times over to hold you again and kiss you for the first time. I still love smelling your sweet hair and rubbing your backs. I’m serious, a love like I have for you is indescribable. One day you will understand. (My mother use to tell me that ALL the time and it never made sense; until YOU both took over my world.)
Today’s world will try to tell you that as your mother I cannot be trusted, that I won’t let you be expressive or free, and I will keep you on a short leash. Well, to half of that, you’re darn right. I am your mother. One day I can become your friend, but first and foremost the Lord trusted me to be your mother. Since old Miley is the topic of the decade, she will probably be irrelevant when you are in your teens, let me just remind you that I made those parts and they’ll stay covered while I’m paying for them. Now, I am all about self-expression and letting consequences teach, but somethings are irreparable and I will intervene when necessary. I will make you angry, I will make you upset. You will probably cry, curse me, and tell me you inevitably hate me. Those will all break my heart and hurt me more than anything ever has, but we will get through it. We will survive those years and one day when you are sitting on the couch watching your son eat a “Pop-start” (what you call a Poptart), and your daughter sing along to whatever replaces “Doc McStuffins” on Disney Jr, you will realize how much I loved you. And how much I STILL do and ALWAYS will.
I love you.
Love, your adoring and ever learning, mama.