But…

“He pushed me out of car,
But I was arguing with him.
I shouldn’t have ridden the bus that day
When he said I wasn’t allowed.
I shouldn’t have eaten that cookie
When the protein bar would do.
I shouldn’t have taken that selfie
With my makeup and hair done, too.

He sounds so cruel
When he tells me one day I’ll die.
But if I love him enough
I would stick around and try.

But he’s not a thug!
He’s white, his daddy’s rich,
And his mama says he gives good hugs.
Her baby would never hit a woman,
Not after he proclaims Jesus’ name.
He’s not a thug!
He tells me he love me
And that I shouldn’t give up.

I shouldn’t have let my phone die,
When my charger was in my purse.
I shouldn’t have cried out for my mother
When he said he’d put me in a hearse.
I shouldn’t have let Skype go down
When I accidently fell asleep.
I shouldn’t have protested at all
When he threw out my clothes into a heap.

He sound so mean
When he’s calling me horrible names.
But I know he’s sorry later
And maybe it was all a dream.

He’s not a thug!
He’s got a job, his daddy’s rich,
And his mama says he gives good hugs.
Her baby would never cuss a woman,
Not after he cries at the alter on Sundays.
He’s not a thug!
He apologizes and promises
I’m better than any drug.

I shouldn’t have read the private message
Sent to my Facebook DM.
I shouldn’t have been upset
When he hacked my email again.
I shouldn’t be too upset
When he locked me in the room.
He swears he’d never hurt me
So I stay here in my personal tomb.
He says my daddy is weak and
My mother is a liar.
And that my brother and sister
Only seek to conspire.
I should learn that he’s never wrong,
He has my best interest at heart.
He’s only protecting me from those
Other guys who only want one part.

He has multiple social media accounts
And threatens people from them all.
I should know better than to bring that up
Because it’s not worth a another brawl.
On Sundays he dresses up
And puts on the perfect mask.
He loves Jesus and his mama and me
More than anyone could ever ask.
He cries and says it’s my fault,
I put him under too much stress.
If only I’d stop being so friendly
And consider the way that I dress.

He’s not a thug!
He’s good looking, he wears a cross necklace,
And his mama says he gives good hugs.
Her baby would never hurt a woman,
No military man would.
He’s not a thug!
He needs respect and grace
And I need to not be smug.

I see the ‘me toos’ on social media
But I have to stay quiet.
It could ruin his reputation
And his wrath would riot.
I can’t even share my story
Because he would find me like prey.
He always said
No one would believe it anyway.

They say he’s not a thug!
His daddy’s rich, his mama’s well known.
His friends say he would never hurt me
Because he loved me to the bone.
He needs another chance,
Even one more will do.
He’s not a thug, they say,
Even though my scars and memories
Hold the proof…”

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